Day 3

Bennett had heart surgery yesterday?! I'll take it.

Today the nurses had a friendly competition going concerning whose heart patient was "winning" in recovery. And the bounce-back baby trophy goes to....

I had it way too easy last night. I was bedding down on my couch, positioned right on the edge for a straight shot to Bennett's side. I anticipated being awake all night with my son and his pain.

But a combination of having an amazing nurse and exhaustion held me fast asleep most of the night!

Bennett was definitely more awake today. It was great that he wasn't crying with pain, but the way he stared and stared at me. No smiles, no reciprocation, just blank between blinks. I knew it translated as my time to shine. The way my mom always could when her children were down. I would be sunny and bright and sing-songy. Bound and determined to give him a room with a cheery view.

His first bottle was when I realized he'd had a furrowed brow, because as soon as the milk went to his lips, his countenance softened, and his forehead was smooth, erasing agitation. He would have a full tummy again!

Then I captured a video with some gurgles and a chuckle! Another five ounces down the hatch, and he looked like peace sleeping comfortably. When he woke up, he was kicking and talking! I got little smiles. Nurses came from across the hall to see the happy baby on day 2 of recovery! His monitors were blaring and protesting at all the rambunctious movement, so the nurses removed a few of them. "The monitors aren't made for kicking," said a nurse, freeing a wriggly foot from a pressure cuff.

I've found my voice when it comes to speaking up for my children. Bennett got rigid with pain, I told the nurses he needed more meds. I thought he looked uncomfortable on his side, laying on his incision, they gently rolled him over. Few things have boosted my confidence the way that did.

I've found that my Father in Heaven doesn't have to speak. He listens. All this time, I've felt heard. He let me go on and on. He heard it all. A sign of a truly remarkable parent, I think. Having that ability to listen to every corner and shadow on the path to feeling. I want to  exemplify that as a mom. I want to hear my children out. I want to be attuned to their emotions. I want to be fascinated by the lives they lead, and the thoughts they think. It is how I feel Heavenly Father is with mine.